5 Touches
by FitzgLivviep
Summary: Just five times Spencer goes in for the kill. One time he doesn't. And just a little bonus
1. Foot

The human body can be a complete turn off sometimes especially when certain, well most in my case, times I feel uncomfortable with contact. But now I was craving it more than I ever did with dilaudid, more than knowledge and that's saying something. There were five times I tested the waters and one time I finally knew that touch wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Foot

Flying back from the most recent case had us all exhausted. I was tired but my leg had all the energy it could muster and would not stop bouncing. Of course I knew my leg didn't have a mind of its own but tonight it really felt like it did. I needed something to ground me. I looked over at Morgan and he had his eyes closed headphones on. I always admired him but recently it was a different admiration.

My feelings for my best friend,-which I have come to terms with calling him my best friend-, had changed. I started feeling my heart rate increase; palms would get sweaty when he asked if I was okay, the whole thing was a mess in my head. I needed more information that I couldn't pick up from body cues and books so I went to my other source, the woman of the BAU. After having a huge discussion and by that I mean them trying to get every last detail out of me of who the mystery person was that caught my eye I came to the conclusion that I had more than a crus. I wasn't the best with showing my emotions unless they were to the extreme and I couldn't control them anymore. I knew I wasn't the best in the dating department with a whole two men equaling twelve dates and no physical contact at all but with the three women it was easier but none of them could ever get to the darkest of me like Derek did, none were friends like Derek and none of them understood my job like him. But I wanted to be different and calm this feeling.

I decided since he had his legs stretched out I could do the same and say it was an accident no big deal. Slowly I stretch out my legs my right leg going between his and left on the outside of his right. I smirk to myself at the boldness and closeness but what I didn't expect was him to trap my foot between his. Panic rose and I tried to pull away but I couldn't I spared a glance up and Morgan was smirking. He opened one of his eyes winked then closed them again. I didn't get my foot back until we landed but that was fine with me.

And I told myself he was fine with it too.


	2. Shoulder

It was two weeks after the foot fiasco that I tried again.

We were debriefing on the plane on the way home and Morgan sat next to me. The unsub was huge resulting in Morgan having two of his ribs fractured when the unsub tackled him thru a door. I wanted to comfort him the way he did all the times I was injured. I wanted to comfort him the way I did when JJ got hurt but I didn't want it to seem weird, unwelcomed or feel the looks I was sure to get from the team, but the minute he was comfortable next to me on the plane ride home I took my chance and moved closer to him. He glanced at me quickly but seemed to think nothing of it or so I thought because the next second I felt his weight against me. To the others it would look like we were just sitting next to each other but for me it was more. He was heavy as I expected with someone with his muscle mass but it was a great weight against me plus he was warm and that is always good in my book. When we landed, I didn't have the courage to wake him so I waited until everyone was off the plane and woke him up after a minute or two I couldn't help but stare a little.

"Morgan wake up."

"Mmm tired and comfy."

"I know but we still got to move."

"Ughh I have to drive us both home."

"With the pain meds still in your system you will not be driving anything for the next 18 hours. I'll drive."

He gives me a look of pure exhaustion tainted with suspicion and hint of a smile, "really?"

"Yes really geez I can drive you know I just rather not and plus…nevermind. Can I sleep with you though...? I mean at your house. Under the same roof not the same bed unless you need me close and I can sleep on the floor."

"Kid I usually can take your rambles but these drugs have me half here and half in the clouds."

"Right. Keys please."

"Just don't crash my truck pretty boy."

Once in the truck I start it up and kind of see the appeal to having one, sort of. The drive to his house was spent in silence but three minutes in the drive for the second time he surprises me and lays his hand in between my shoulder blades and rubs up and down a few times before settling there.

The first thing that popped in my head when that happened was that part in the Simpsons movie when Bart got a pat on the back and felt good well that is exactly how I felt, like a damn carton character.

I felt like I could get use to this touch thing especially if it's from Derek.


	3. Snippet

"Spppeenncceerr I'm going to need your help."

"Anything."

"I need to get out these clothes."

"Ohh umm.."

"I know that you aren't comfortable but being my best friend this kind of falls in your territory."

"How is that?"

"If I was to ever get sloppy drunk, needed someone to cry to, vegg out, do something manly that's where you come in. Also, your hands are soft and I like them."

"What about Garcia?" I ask completely ignoring his comment about my hands.

"She's the girl counterpart to you and she's not here. So, help me please pretty boy."

I couldn't resist saying no to that plus he said he liked my hands, not the most exciting part of the body but it was a start. And he calls me pretty boy so there's that too.

"Fine sit up."

"Look at you being all controlling and demanding, I like it."

"Feeling good are we."

"I bet I'll feel even better with those hands on me."

"Derek!"

"Yes, pretty ricky? I hope you know I'm not making fun of you because sometimes I feel like you that I am which I'm not it's just that your so I don't the word but you know."

"Derek let's get you into bed."

"See that's what I'm talking about. Devour me Spencer."

Damnit Morgan stop moving and please stop talking."

"Why are you blushing? Am I making you all hot and bothered?"

He was and I had no clue how to deal with it plus, this wasn't him it was the drugs. So I quickly pushed him back grabbed his pants at the ankles yanked them off, pulled his shirt off quickly but slowly and threw his blanket over him.

"Spencer I want to tell you something"

"What is it?"

"Thank you."

"Your welcome and anytime."

I walk to leave the room to get his meds when he says something that throws me.

"I love you Spencer."

I turn around to try to say something, anything, but hes already fast asleep and I let it sink in that he won't remember he said the three words that I have longed for or that he didn't mean them the way I wanted him to mean them.


	4. Hand

Hand

Morgan had healed and as expected didn't remember what he said at all but a month later he threw my heart for another loop when he was shot but it was just a graze. I was terrified but luckily we had time off and we were all going to take full advantage of it, well not everyone. Hotch was taking Jack up to New York to visit Beth, JJ and Will were taking Henry camping, Emily was going on another sin to win trip, Rossi said he was going to his quiet place which was a house in the middle of nowhere for some hunting, Garcia was hitting up a tech convention, Morgan was furnishing and doing last bits of things on a house he wanted to keep. Then there was me.

Nothing.

I was doing nothing except being boring, lonely, and predictable. As I was talking to Garcia about it I knew that no one wants to be boring some just are and I was one of them.

"Boy wonder you should do something."

"I know but nothing I want to do is nothing I don't do on a regular basis."

"Why not ask to hang with your bestie?"

"You had me until you said bestie."

"Morgan. My chocolate god. Kills two birds with one stone in my book."

"What would those two things be? And why would he want to hang out with me, it's like the popular asking the exiled kid to hang because he feels bad for him or wants others to like him."

"First that's not true in your case. Second I have no clue what you guys would do but it doesn't hurt to ask him, he might want the company."

"Morgan wouldn't…"

I couldn't finish my sentence because he walked up behind him at the exact time I said his name

"What wouldn't I want?"

"Noth…"

Second time in the span of 60 seconds I got cut off

"Boy wonder here wanted to hang with you but didn't want to intrude on your plans but I said he just had to ask. It's a win in my book because at least I know that two of my lovies are together safe and sound. Plus, if you're working on a house what's better than having a genius who can tell you the measurements off the top of his head plus an extra set of hands."

"You know what baby girl that is very true. So."

I just stand there looking at them for a second, "so what?"

"Are you going to ask me?"

"Morgan, I know when you renovate its to get some peace of mind and you know I don't do well with tools and silence which means I most likely would end up being a bother and rambling about things that don't interest you or you will just listen and nod your head and agree."

"First I'm still waiting for you to ask and secondly I'm kind of hurt that is what you think of me when you go on your rambles. I like them because half the time I don't know what you are talking about but I do learn a new thing every day because of you. Even if you do ramble I stop you if it's just way too far out there for me. I got some files I need to catch up on, you know where to find me. Bye baby girl."

Hurt. I saw hurt on his face. I know I said something but I really don't know what I said that hurt him.

"Garcia help me."

"Oh, no Spencer you did this on your own and your words hurt him. You better fix it but you will without my help."

"But what did I say?"

"Look you basically told him that he tolerates you and he really doesn't care when you know for a fact that we all do. After all these years Spencer and the plenty times, you showed your genius, you can be dense sometimes. Sweetie I see things and before you start defending yourself its fine and he will love you no matter what just go ask to hang and apologize."

And I do exactly that, but when I walk in front of his office door the blinds are fully shut which everyone around here knows that means do not disturb. I really needed to say sorry. Taking a deep breath, I knock waiting for a reply.

"Come in."

"Do you have a second?"

"Yeah. You might be the only one who can gossip at work because all their work is done you know."

"Yeah. Look I'm sorry."

"For?"

"For what I said."

"Did baby girl open your eyes?"

"She said that I need to start believing that you guys actually want me around and that you don't just tolerate me."

"I love that woman she is always knocking wisdom into someone around here. And she is right."

"I know it's just I'm going thru something right now and I don't really know how to deal with it because it crosses so many lines."

"Anything I can help with."

"Maybe but I'm still running my experiments."

"Experiments?"

"Nothing bad just testing my theories out in my head."

"Well let me know if I can help in any way."

"Thanks Morgan."

I get up to leave and grab half of his pile of files.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know I want to, plus like you said mine are all done."

"Whatever you want Dr. Reid."

At the door I stop and turn back, "can I hang with you when our vacation starts?"

"Like I said whatever you want pretty boy you are always welcomed to be around me."

I leave and close his door but before I'm even around the corner I see him opening his blinds and it puts a smile on my face.

After work we all go our separate ways saying our see you soon and wishing well. Morgan told me to find pants and shirts that I didn't mind getting dirty or destroyed and once I did give him a call to when I was ready.

As I stood there looking into my closet I noticed I really didn't have anything. My wardrobe consisted of dress pants, dress shirts, sweaters, vest, and a couple of under shirts. Panicking I called Garcia to ask her for help. After her fawning over me and saying things she hung up with saying she will be doing a quick shopping trip for me and be at my place in 20 minutes. Garcia came and went in a flash bringing with her three bags filled with shorts and shirts and a new pair of Converses. I didn't want to even know how she knew my size.

I called Derek after I got changed (Garcia approved) and he said he was already on his way because I was taking too long. We were going to be staying the weekend because it was already after 8 and too late to get much work done.

The next morning we had breakfast than got straight to work. Everything worked out just like Garcia planned I was a human calculator and Morgan said things were moving quicker because he didn't have to double check all the time. The morning came and went and so did the rest of the day with ease. We were cleaning we both reached for the same tool to pick up. I touched his hand and it sent shivers down my spine. He moved on like nothing happened but later it happened again. I wanted to feel his whole hand after both times and I came up with a plan, I was going to get up first and offer my hand to him and maybe just maybe he would take it.

"Well Spencer I think that we are finished for today?"

"Morgan…Derek…"

"You alright there?"

"It's just has been a while since you have said my name. It kind of shocked me," laughing was the only way I could end the sentence without making a total fool of myself anymore. All he did was say my name and I completely froze. All I could think about was how this was the first time in awhile that I heard his deep voice say my name and I was glad that I would remember this moment just like the other times he said my name. Hearing all his nicknames for me made me feel special but it was like him saying my name was even more spectacular, to have my name said in his deep voice sent shivers down my spine and raised the small hairs on me. I never had this feeling before but I sure didn't want it to ever go away.

He leans over and puts his hand on my neck and I feel myself flush. Those hands were warm and big. Just that simple touch made me feel safe. I wanted that touch more, so much more that I moved before thinking and leaned into his hand.

"Ill say your name whenever you want Spencer."

HE moves to stand up and sticks out his hand to help me up. But me being me I stumble and end up falling into his arms and my hands touch his back while his hands are on my waist.

In that moment I had an epiphany.

First my plan to touch first failed.

Second: I, Dr. Spencer Reid, had a crush, feelings on my best friend, coworker, Derek Morgan.


End file.
